Back in SA

Hello everyone,

It is hard to believe that it has been nearly two months since I was there in the States with all of you. It was such a special thing to see everyone and have some special moments with friends and family. Thank you for opening up you hearts and homes to me. Being with you brought confirmation again that reconnecting is vital, and though the plane ticket is costly I want and need to stay connected to all of you! Email and phone (Skype, of course) is very helpful in this regard but I do need to see you and squeeze you all every once in a while. My next visit is tentatively planned for December 2009, so I am going to have to plan more time in for Skype conversations!

Things are going well here. There was and continues to be a period of re-entry back into the community and the work. I had anticipated this, but had never done it, so I did not know what to expect. Things have gone well, though repair to relationship and “catch-up has taken time. I am still working on a few neighbors, hoping that the realationship can be as it was before I left. For the last two weeks I have been staying at a friends flat and caring for the high school student that she took in temporarily. We are working on the paperwork to have this girl come to the States to finish her studies. She has no family to care for her and is essentially without accommodation.

You may remember Nana, another young girl that I helped to care for last winter. She connected to a wonderful family in the States through one of our volunteers who was here for five months. Nana is currently living with them and attending school in Ohio. Though they did not formally adopt her she is very much their own and has already taken to calling them “Mom” and “Dad.” Her father died the day after her birth and her mother passed several years later. It is really special for Nana to have found a new mother and father. Especially because she has never called anyone “Dad.” This same family would like to take in the girl I am staying with now and we are getting all the visa paperwork together in hopes that she and Nana can be sisters in this new home. They know each other and were good friends here before Nana left. The girls are looking forward to being sisters. Please pray that everything will work out for them.

Here at Kuyasa, we are gearing up for Summer Camps and working on the end of the year programming. I have had the special opportunity to help some of our girls who are graduating look for a dress to wear to their Matric Dance (which somewhat like Prom). Recently we had a slumber party at the flat and experimented with make-up. This was the first time they had tried or even seen things like blush and mascara. After explaining that blush is not used on the forehead, somehow I still felt like I was unleashing a monster, ushering them into this new world of image and western fashion. But they had come to me and asked if I would help them learn and the youngest was 17. There are plenty of people here that wear make-up here, so I was not exposing them to anything unfamiliar. From the look of it, I doubt that any of them will wear makeup regularly, it will just be a special thing for the dance. We were all in hysterics for several hours; they could not understand why women do this to themselves! Two of the girls are going to come and get ready here at the flat I am staying in before the dance. This is really special that they want to share this big night with me, I am so excited to help.

My life is still such a strange one, both personally and professionally I feel like I have my feet in two different worlds. Staying in the township, I have the opportunity to live life with and learn from the community and the kids I work with, but at the same time I visit friends in nice homes in town, sing with a choir at one of the most prestigious Universities in the country and share skin color and language with those who are the wealthiest here. Also professionally, my life is filled with amazing kids and youth, I get to lead groups, teach guitar lessons and help with homework, but on the other side I am attending a USAID conference on grant writing and best practice for structuring the Board , drafting all the employee contracts and facilitating the Strategic Planning process. There days I wish I never had to go into town again, then there are days that I consider living there. There are days where I just want an office that has a door to lock and wonder where all my time goes and then there days when I just want to throw out all the logistics and what feels to be worthless western rig-a-ma-role and build relationships only, just listen and learn and counsel, just share life with these incredible survivors that surround me.

As I write this I am realizing that, again, my time a Casa was excellent preparation for this life (at least on the professional end). I am more free here and need to learn to allow myself this freedom. I have to trust that this freedom that I have will allow God to lead and direct me, if I am aware and in-tune, I will know what to prioritize when. It seems somehow I learned that “hands-on” work and the “more important” things that keep us huddled in an office, writing dates for meetings, memos and reports must remain separate. Here I have been blessed to have the chance to question this. How effective are all those meetings, memos and reports?

If as a Christian I am called to see the world be changed from the inside out, beginning with me, will these things I am so busy with get me there? If this is the true “target” how can the principles I understand regarding effective managing and planning be merged with my relational priorities and firm belief that lasting change comes only though real relationship. I have the “luxury” of seeing people I work with and supervise as more then assets or liabilities. I have been given the opportunity to step out of the pressure cooker that mandated performance and into a world that can take time to see people as created human beings. I get to change the questions around; not “what can they do for me and the organizational goals” but “What can I do to see them learn, grow, SHINE and become what God placed in them to become?” I am no longer auditing, I am treasure hunting. I don’t need all the lines and divisions that I have been taught. Personal/Professional, Hands-on/Management, Spiritual/Secular, Emotional/Intellectual, Rich/Poor, Black/White, Educated/Uneducated...the list goes on. The question is, can I let these go even if those around me don’t? Can I live in an integrated, ambiguous now; a life that prioritizes being over doing and remembers that at our core we are all in it for the same things; people to call true family, a purpose that will out last our small life and peace that is long-suffering, enduring through our greatest pain.

Safe and Sound

I have received several concerned messages and wanted to post and assure everyone that I am safe and doing well. I know that there have been quite a few news stories about Xenophobia in South Africa recently and there has definitely been serious violence here. It has impacted the area I stay in, as well as the areas I visited while in Johannesburg. I did have to “evacuate” on Friday night and stay in more safe accommodation last weekend. I am back in Kayamandi now and feel safe, things have settled and the general sentiment is that there is no longer an increased risk to my safety.

"Xenophobia" here in SA is primarily black South African people groups persecuting black immigrants from other African countries(most of which are refugees). Those who are encouraging the violence say that these immigrants (nearly all illegally in the country) are taking jobs and wives away from the native South Africans. Considering the importance of tribal heritage and blood lines, for many black South Africans the issue of taking wives is even more serious then taking jobs.

However, as with most mob violence like this, it has become an opportunity to commit crime irregardless of race or ethnicity. In Johannesburg, I read headlines that estimated 42 people dead and 15,000 homeless. Here in Kayamandi we had riots and looting last Friday and Saturday night. The information I received was that 230 people were escorted out of the township under police protection after mobs attacked them with rocks, fists and firearms. We are a fairly small township so 230 people feels like a lot. I am sure there were more attacked who were not lucky enough to make it out with the police. One of the boys I work most closely with had a gun stuck in his side and was threatened. This was very scary, Friday night things started while we were still here in the office and it was very frightening. We have fantastic security staff who anticipated the riots and tripled their staffing. They were also armed. Myself and another American volunteer were escorted out of the township by one of the South African staff. I still had my bag with me from my time in Jo-burg (I had the privilege of being sponsored to attend a conference on Child Psychology there). So I was already packed to spend the weekend in safety, thank you Lord.

Nearly all the shops in Kayamandi are owned and run by foreigners, primarily Somalians, but recently we have had more refugees from Kenya and Zimbabwe moving in. These shops were completely gutted and many structures knocked down or damaged as people frantically grabbed all they could carry. Homes were also looted. There were so many people involved that the police did nothing about the theft, realizing they did not have the man power to do much more then insure the safety of those under attack.

Like I said things have calmed now. I met many people in Jo-burg who had lost nearly everything and send family back to their home countries for fear that they would be targeted. Please continue to pray for these people and their families.

This is the third post I have made today. So please read further to get updated on the other happenings over the last several weeks. Thank you for all your love and concern for me.

Wonderings and Wanderings

I have been reading from 1 Corinthians recently and was reminded that Paul was the first real missionary—after Christ that is. In chapter 9 Paul clearly states his methodology of missions. It is nice to read in the New Living Translation. The content of his message is written in other places, but the means by which he chose to deliver the message is there in chapter 9. Reading this with the words in proverbs that speak about truth or wise words given at the right time are like “golden apples in settings of silver” has been a real encouragement to me. Christ was the first example of what Paul speaks about here in chapter 9. Paul calls himself a slave to all, and of course this is what Christ was, deity illegitimately born into the world, in a town no one wanted to visit, a blue collar guy, homeless for most of his adult life, possessing nothing, he came to live as a slave in service to those he hope to save, even unto death. Then as we read, Christ spoke with divine wisdom and places these difficult to decipher apples of gold in the perfect settings. When people ask him questions he responds contextually. He nearly near gives a straight, plain, flat answer. He places his meaning in a context, a beautiful setting through, story, analogy and metaphor. He says himself that those who are not ready to hear what he has to say will not hear it. They listen, but only the heart that is ready can unlock the truth that is there. And of course it is the Spirit of God that prepares the heart to receive this.

I am still so much in the pre and introductory phases of an incarnational witness here. It can take years to become a fairly integrated part of any community even in your native culture, with people who speak your native language.

I am not sure where God will land me. Maybe here in Kayamandi, maybe Liberia, Rwanda or Mozambique. But I am definitely in cross-cultural Kindergarten. Washing in a basin, greeting mean looking guys with a smile, using a bucket for a toilet, riding in make-shift combies with 15 other people, eating pap and sour milk, making peace with the cockroaches and mice, expecting 36 interruptions a day—these things have become second nature, but there are so many other things that still feel foreign. I am hoping that this “basic training” coupled with many other forms of training and education that God has given me will be of benefit wherever I end up.

Thank you all for your patience with me. I never feel like any of you have a “Produce, Produce, Produce!” mindset or that you expect that I become the next female Billy Graham. You are patient with me as I am work to be patient with myself. Your grace extended and support has been my greatest encouragement next to the Lord. I am excited to be able to come and visit with all of you soon. This year has been very exploratory (as I had never been in a township prior to arriving). I am excited to plan, pray, and prepare with all of you for my return to Kayamandi; as well as learn more about what your lives have been like over the past year.

I will be arriving in San Diego on the 22nd of June and will stay through the third of July. Jen Ryan, my sponsorship coordinator and my mother will be helping to organize several group gatherings. There will be a dessert and meeting at my parent’s home on the 28th of June. I would love to meet and share with any of you individually as well.

Love and Blessings,
Heather

Hello everyone, I apologize for taking so long to write. So much has happened recently. It is hard to believe that it has been two months since my last post!
I am still living with my colleague and friend, Sis Pumla and her son Monde’ in Kayamandi. I am making real progress with Xhosa, so people tell me, and I have a great tutor from the community who walks me through Kayamandi and coaches me as I speak to my neighbours. It is definitely a challenge.

I had the privilege visiting Pumla’s family in the Eastern Cape at the beginning of May. After a 12 hour bus ride, 5 blocks walking with our luggage in a grocery cart, 2 make-shift combie taxi rides and another 20 min walk on dirt roads, we arrived at the Qualinge family home. Over the next seven days I was given a new family in South Africa. I made Mnqushu, (traditional African dish) over the fire and help to make Umqombothi (traditional African beer). I assisted with the slaughtering and cleaning of many chickens and participated in a traditional ceremony that welcomed me as one of the family. I was able to meet the patriarch of the family and three of Sis Pumla’s six siblings along with their children. More than this, I was privileged to be given a very intimate and internal view of family roles, dynamics and traditions within the Xhosa culture.

Below is a quick update on the projects I am working on here at Kuyasa, I will be speaking in more detail about these when I see you all in June.
• 70% of the 36 lesson curriculum for children suffering from PTSD
• 75% of the Standard Procedures for Kuyasa
• Annual All Staff Training Modules
• HR consult and assistance with hiring, creating the application and interview process
• The annual contracts and job descriptions for all full time and part time staff
• Guitar lessons once a week with students
• Worship band, practicing once a week (We recently received funding for a drum set!)
• Art Program, mentoring a young man from the community who is doing a FANTASTIC job creating lesson plans and structuring the program
• Implementation of 12 Sponsorship Program Training Modules to train up sponsorship administrator from 4 different NGOs locally
• IT classes for staff and students

Welcome to my Home

Hello Everyone

This photo is the walkway to my front door. Follow the link to some photos and a short video of where I stay in Kayamandi. Most of the photos are of the homes and areas just outside my home. I took some other video footage but am having trouble uploading. I will continue to try. I hope you all had a wonderful Easter!

Taking Deep Breaths

Today my heart is bursting. It is a day of having your head out of the window as the car drives on the highway. There is so much to take in and it is hard to breathe.

Living in Kayamandi is more than a special thing, it is has opened up a new stomach in me. There is so much to learn; I am starving. Honestly, I feel like a Kindergartener most days. My heart is breaking for so many things today. For the white people in South Africa, who even now continue to miss and disregarded such an incredible wealth of humanity, strength, love and family sitting right next to them. My heart is breaking for other developed nations, that we disregard the impoverished and the wisdom that God has given to those we call fools or the strength in those we call weak. But more than anything else I am broken today by the potential for real change that is so severely restricted through our own human darkness. There are so many resources, there are so many people, there is so much real potential. We have the raw resources, but fear, power and pride, keep us from connecting to each other. Keep us from relating in a way that recognizes what others have brought as they sit next to us. People, organizations, leaders and governments that cannot partner and insist on their own agenda, loose enormously. We don’t meet on level playing fields; someone’s chair always sits a little higher at the table. This is not about money or education or social group; this is a choice each individual makes. In our hearts we choose how high we will sit. We are focused on what is in our pockets, bequeathing our vast expanse of knowledge, money and expertise, all the time missing the greater possibilities if we simply look over into our neighbours lap. If we take a closer look we will be startled at the kind of wealth those in poverty seem to possess. So much more can be gained if we could see that those we are working with are the most significant players and contributors; that they bringing things of value that money cannot buy. Those that sit lower they also make a choice. Either through submission to social norms or other experiences they expect to sit lower, and they also loose, missing what they have to bring and how using this can enable not simply another program or project, but real transformation of lives, communities and nations.

The HIV/AIDS issue is a great example. Billions have been thrown at this problem in Africa alone. But if you speak with people here they will tell you AIDS is not spreading due to lack of education and awareness. In South Africa the infection rate is 50% and it seems every other day they are speaking about HIV/AIDS in school. Every Youth Program in the nation runs workshops, hands out pamphlets, conducts awareness campaigns. From commercials on TV during the most popular shows, speeches from movie/music celebrities and political figures to conversations with grandma; youth here can tell you more about HIV/AIDS than you have most likely heard from any other source. This is good, of course, it is important, but it is not stopping the spread of the disease. WHY? Why is it that youth can give tell you which 4 out of 9 neighbours that live near them are HIV positive, who may have even watched their own parent(s) die a slow death from this disease and still they engage in risky behaviour that may ultimately result in infection. They have the information, they have seen the effects first hand, they have experienced loss and heartache because of this thing in their own families. Clearly, there is a deeper problem. Could it be that many issues of this kind, issues linked to poverty, are too complex to be solved without pulling up a chair, sitting next to (not above) the leaders of suffering communities and asking “How can we learn?” before asking “How much do you need?”

I will step off the soap box now. Thank you all for being a sounding board and a family for me. You have all asked both of those questions with me and I am grateful. God's Blessings and My Love to you, Heather

My New Home

Hi everyone

I haven’t posted in a while. Things are going well at Kuyasa, I am staying very busy putting the Policy and Procedure Manuel together, writing up Contracts and Job Descriptions. I feel like I have done an enormous amount so far, but there is a lot more to do.

I have also moved into Kayamandi to stay with Sis Pumla in her 2 beautiful shelters. One for the kitchen and her son Monde’ the other has a small living room and our bedroom. There is electricity but no running water or plumbing. It is a very big transition for me, I am learning a lot everyday and I am really grateful to be able to stay with her.

A friend sent me a beautiful camera and I will be posting more photos and possibly video(!) soon. I will say I am feeling pretty stressed, particularly over the last two weeks. Pray that I could find peace and time for relaxing. There is so much need here and as I build a more solid rapport with the teens and kids here they are telling me more about their situations. This is difficult, what we would consider abuse just comes with the territory here—this has also been a very difficult transition. I am coming to love these kids more and more—and I feel myself stretched in so many ways. I need real wisdom and I need real love, peace and discernment from God in many areas. Please pray that my heart will stay open and that I will trust that God knows what I need to be what they need.

I miss you all, I wish so much you could come and see my new home. It is beautiful.

PHOTOS!

Kuyasa & my ride to work

Some photos from work and my ride into Kayamandi today. Feel free to brouse my web albums on Picasa--I think I am acctually up and running with photos for the blog!

After arriving at Picasa by clicking the link above, simply click "Heather's Public Gallery" to be taken to the rest of the photos.